BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Final Break From BushWorld

People...

I'm taking my final break from BushWorld...

From Dick, Don, Condi and Our Kid...

With video from the greatest American rock band ever.

ROTH ERA HALEN.

Watch and learn.

Politics tomorrow.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dig The Who

Dig The Who

Alright, people.

I've reached maximum saturation: I can't deal with BushWorld today. (I think I'm suffering from progressive outrage disease - and can't understanding why we're not marching in the streets.)

And so...

There's only one thing to do: Watch the greatest piece of rock footage ever.

Dig...The Who.

More later.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The American Dream

People...

There's only one "American Dream."

"One American dream, Tully Blanchard!"

And that's Dusty Rhodes!!!

"You got me now, on you, forever!!!"

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

There's Gold in Them Thar Hills

People...

Wars force Army equipment costs to triple

There's gold in them thar hills!
WASHINGTON - The annual cost of replacing, repairing and upgrading Army equipment in Iraq and Afghanistan is expected to more than triple next year to more than $17 billion, according to Army documents obtained by the Associated Press.
If you're in the business of "replacing, repairing and upgrading Army equipment?"

CONGRATUFUCKULATIONS.
From 2002 to 2006, the Army spent an average of $4 billion a year in annual equipment costs. But as the war takes a harder toll on the military, that number is projected to balloon to more than $12 billion for the federal budget year that starts next Oct. 1, the documents show.
Thank god we've got some wars goin' on: Otherwise, we wouldn't need all that equipment!

If you are waiting tables or selling cars or working at the Gap? Get thee to thy nearest military industrial workshop.

Opportunity knocks.

Speaking of war...

A MUST SEE video from Crooks & Liars.

It's Paul Pillar, Larry Wilkerson (et al) appearing in front of the Senate Democratic Policy Committee...talking about Dick Dastardly and D. Feith's Office of Special Plans.

Remember, kiddos...
If you're in the business of war...you need war for business!
More later...

Monday, June 26, 2006

End Times are a comin,' I swear to God

People...

You might've missed this LA Times piece from last week.

'End Times' Religious Groups Want Apocalypse Soon

Don't you?
For thousands of years, prophets have predicted the end of the world.

Today, various religious groups, using the latest technology, are trying to hasten it.

Their endgame is to speed the promised arrival of a messiah.
"Praying real hard" isn't working, so the End Timers are resorting to other tactics.
...some Jewish groups in Jerusalem hope to clear the path for their own messiah by rebuilding a temple on a site now occupied by one of Islam's holiest shrines.

Artisans have re-created priestly robes of white linen, gem-studded breastplates, silver trumpets and solid-gold menorahs to be used in the Holy Temple — along with two 6½-ton marble cornerstones for the building's foundation.

Then there is Clyde Lott, a Mississippi revivalist preacher and cattle rancher.

He is trying to raise a unique herd of red heifers to satisfy an obscure injunction in the Book of Numbers: the sacrifice of a blemish-free red heifer for purification rituals needed to pave the way for the messiah.

So far, only one of his cows has been verified by rabbis as worthy, meaning they failed to turn up even three white or black hairs on the animal's body.
Too bad.

Keep trying, though!
By contrast, Bill McCartney, a former University of Colorado football coach and co-founder of the evangelical Promise Keepers movement for men, which became huge in the 1990s, has had a devil of a time getting his own apocalyptic campaign off the ground.

It's called The Road to Jerusalem, and its mission is to convert Jews to Christianity — while there is still time.

"Our whole purpose is to hasten the end times," he said. "The Bible says Jews will be brought to jealousy when they see Christians and Jewish believers together as one — they'll want to be a part of that. That's going to signal Jesus' return."

Jews and others who don't accept Jesus, he added matter-of-factly, "are toast."
I think he said the same thing about the Nebraska Cornhuskers, back in the day.

More later.

HOPEFULLY.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Please Allow Me to Intoduce Myself

Yo.

Jacob's bad luck: Is it . . . Satan?

Bedeviled: His business deals have been delayed, keeping him from fully funding his campaign

The Devil does not want John Jacobs to go to Washington:
As if beating a five-term congressman wasn't hard enough, John Jacob said he has another foe working against him: the devil.

"There's another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.," Jacob said.

"It's the devil is what it is. I don't want you to print that, but it feels like that's what it is."

Jacob said Thursday that since he decided to run for Congress against Rep. Chris Cannon, Satan has bollixed his business deals, preventing him from putting as much money into the race as he had hoped.

Numerous business deals he had lined up have been delayed, freezing money he was counting on to finance his race.

"You know, you plan, you organize, you put your budget together and when you have 10 things fall through, not just one, there's some other, something else that is happening," Jacob said.

Asked if he actually believed that "something else" was indeed Satan, Jacob said: "I don't know who else it would be if it wasn't him.
Um...

How about you and your campaign team?
"We have a country that was created by our Heavenly Father and it was a country that had a Constitution and everyone who came to America had strong faith. If that can be destroyed that would be the adversity. . . . Whether you want to call that Satan or whoever you want to call it, I believe in the last eight months I've experienced that."
I think our country is being destroyed by Gary Coleman.

He's a futuristic robot...sent back in time...to destroy us all.

More later...

Friday, June 23, 2006

When Are We Going to Learn? We're in the Wrong Business!

People...

Senate Report Lists Lobbyist's Payments to Ex-Leader of Christian Coalition


A better headline? "Ralph Reed's Gettin' Paid, Yo!"
WASHINGTON, June 22 — A bipartisan Senate report released on Thursday documented more than $5.3 million in payments to Ralph Reed, the former director of the Christian Coalition and a leading Republican Party strategist, from an influence-peddling operation run by the corrupt lobbyist Jack Abramoff on behalf of Indian tribe casinos.
$5.3 MILLION.

When are we going to learn? We're in the wrong business!
Mr. Reed was depicted as having used his contacts among conservative Christian groups in the South and Southwest beginning in the late 1990's to block the opening or expansion of casinos that might compete with the gambling operations of Mr. Abramoff's clients.
He did so...on behalf of Jesus.

Clearly.
Mr. Abramoff and his former partner, Michael Scanlon, have pleaded guilty to conspiring to corrupt public officials and bilking some Indian tribe clients out of tens of millions of dollars. They are cooperating with a federal grand-jury investigation that is threatening to derail the careers of several members of Congress.

There has been no suggestion by prosecutors that Mr. Reed is under special scrutiny by the grand jury.
Um...

Why not?!

More later.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Con Rock

Yo.

I'm having a hard time sloggin' through the National Review's "Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs" list. It still feels like an Onion piece.

A few examples:
40. “Wake Up Little Susie,” by The Everly Brothers.

A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

34. “Godzilla,” by Blue öyster Cult.

A 1977 classic about a big green monster — and more: “History shows again and again / How nature points up the folly of men.”

32. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself,” by The Georgia Satellites.

An outstanding vocal performance, with lyrics that affirm old-time sexual mores: “She said no huggy, no kissy until I get a wedding vow.
Um, I think it's a song about a guy who wants to bang said woman.
29. “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” by Iron Maiden.

A heavy-metal classic inspired by a literary classic. How many other rock songs quote directly from Samuel Taylor Coleridge?
Stay away from Maiden, bro.
20. “Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash.
Wait. Hold. I didn't want to add snarky comments to this post, but...The Clash?!

Do you see how frustrating this is?!
18. “Cult of Personality,” by Living Colour.

A hard-rocking critique of state power, whacking Mussolini, Stalin, and even JFK: “I exploit you, still you love me / I tell you one and one makes three / I’m the cult of personality.”
Um, yeah.

I have a headache.

More later...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Champion

Two things for you to do this morning.

Check out Ron Suskind's appearance on CNN (via Crooks & Liars). He's talking to Wolfie about his new book ("One Percent Doctrine"), a book that gets into Cheney's grip on the White House, Bin Laden's desire for Bush's re-election, and our "decision" to bomb Al-Jazeera.

Then...

Watch Alonzo Mourning's post-game press conference.

He's one of my favorite guys -- and not just because he gives a lot of money to "blue" causes. Watch the video...and you'll see why.

Zo talks a lot about his recovery from kidney failure and the importance of this championship moment:
"It just makes me appreciate...just living...every moment...now...even more."
He's an inspiration.

More later...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

You And I Are in the Wrong Business

Morning, kiddos --

Been digging through the TOP 50 CONSERVATIVE SONGS and will have a report soon - after I put my brain back together - because it hurts.

'Til then...

You and I are in the wrong business.

Former Antiterror Officials Find Industry Pays Better


In the old days, men went to Washington, figured out where the freeways were goin,' left Washington, bought land, and cashed in. Now?
WASHINGTON, June 17 — Dozens of members of the Bush administration's domestic security team, assembled after the 2001 terrorist attacks, are now collecting bigger paychecks in different roles: working on behalf of companies that sell domestic security products, many directly to the federal agencies the officials once helped run.
"Domestic Security projects."

Ha!
At least 90 officials at the Department of Homeland Security or the White House Office of Homeland Security — including the department's former secretary, Tom Ridge; the former deputy secretary, Adm. James M. Loy; and the former under secretary, Asa Hutchinson — are executives, consultants or lobbyists for companies that collectively do billions of dollars' worth of domestic security business.
Well...

They know what part of th' "domestic" needs security.

"It would be cool if we had a laser."

"How much should we spend on that?"

"Kazillions."

"Good. I quit and...I'll call you tomorrow! I know a guy!"
More than two-thirds of the department's most senior executives in its first years have moved through the revolving door. That pattern raises questions for some former officials.
Gee, ya think?
Mr. Ridge, the former secretary, stands to profit handsomely now that Savi Technology, a maker of radio frequency identification equipment that the department pushed while he was secretary, is being bought by Lockheed Martin. He was appointed to the Savi board three months after resigning from the department and has been compensated with an undisclosed number of stock options that Lockheed will presumably need to buy back. In the coming weeks, Mr. Ridge says he plans to open his own domestic security and crisis management consulting firm.
A good gig if you can get it.

Read the whole piece.

More later...

Monday, June 19, 2006

Monday the 19th

Back from a quick trip: Will resume posting shortly...

Friday, June 16, 2006

Conservative Rocker David Bowie

By now...you might've heard that the National Review (a turbo conservative rag) has compiled a list of "conservative" rock songs.

Ha!

National Review's "50 Greatest Conservative Rock Songs


Quick info:
...to prove there is still some music for conservative rockers, National Review has published a list of the 50 greatest conservative rock songs.

John J. Miller, who compiled the list, explains the criteria: "The lyrics must convey a conservative idea or sentiment, such as skepticism of government or support for traditional values. And, to be sure, it must be a great rock song."

At the top of the list is the Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again," which Miller calls a theme song for "disillusioned revolutionaries" who've forsaken their naive idealism. Also in the top 10 are "Wouldn't It Be Nice" by the Beach Boys (for its pro-abstinence and -marriage message), "Gloria" by U2 and "Revolution" by the Beatles.

Other selections include songs by Bob Dylan ("Neighborhood Bully"), David Bowie ("Heroes") and John Mellencamp ("Small Town").
I can't even type because I'm laughing so hard.

"Heroes?"

"Heroes?"

"Heroes?!"

Hello, McFly? Hello, McFly?! McFly!

I mean, where do I....you know...I mean...maybe it's a song for...you know...some of the closeted gay Republicans on Capitol Hill.

And "Revolution?!"

My God.

WHAT FUCKING WORDS ARE YOU PEOPLE HEARING?

Again, I'm crazy busy at work, but I feel like spending the next week breaking down this RETARDED list.

(Quickly - I remember a dude leaving an anti-Bruce post on the Springteen Message Boards (Backsteets.com) right before the start of '04's "Vote For Change" tour. He felt betrayed because, you know, Bruce had always "fought for the little guy," and there he was on a liberal tour.

EVERYONE'S response was, "Right, you fucking moron, He's still fighting for the little guy. What lyrics are you hearing?!"

There is conservative rock, BTW. It's called Creed and Ted Nugent.

You guys can have 'em.

More next Monday...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Come on and Join Our NAFTA Convoy

One of the dudes who led the Swift Boat charge against Kerry, is bringing you this info --

Bush Admin. Scheming To Build Massive Super Highway "Through The Heart Of The US"

The Bushies want to bring in goods via new ports in Mexico - bypassing the UNION ports in SoCal.

Let's just assume the story is true: A number of truckers have called Randi Rhodes with similar claims:
Quietly but systematically, the Bush Administration is advancing the plan to build a huge NAFTA Super Highway, four football-fields-wide, through the heart of the U.S. along Interstate 35, from the Mexican border at Laredo, Tex., to the Canadian border north of Duluth, Minn.

Once complete, the new road will allow containers from the Far East to enter the United States through the Mexican port of Lazaro Cardenas, bypassing the Longshoreman’s Union in the process.

The Mexican trucks, without the involvement of the Teamsters Union...
Forgot that part --
...will drive on what will be the nation’s most modern highway straight into the heart of America. The Mexican trucks will cross border in FAST lanes, checked only electronically by the new “SENTRI” system.
Eventually, we'll all be checked by the SENTRI system.
The first customs stop will be a Mexican customs office in Kansas City, their new Smart Port complex, a facility being built for Mexico at a cost of $3 million to the U.S. taxpayers in Kansas City.

As incredible as this plan may seem to some readers, the first Trans-Texas Corridor segment of the NAFTA Super Highway is ready to begin construction next year. Various U.S. government agencies, dozens of state agencies, and scores of private NGOs (non-governmental organizations) have been working behind the scenes to create the NAFTA Super Highway, despite the lack of comment on the plan by President Bush.
You understand the implications, yes?

I'm headin' out to the highway
I've got nothin' to lose at all


Except my job.

More later...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Get Thee to Crooks & Liars

Yo.

Good morning.

If you're gonna do one thing today, watch (RNC chair) Ken Mehlman's appearance on The Daily Show.

Stewart was brilliant - as usual.

Then...

If you've got the time...

Borat's movie trailer is online.

"Very nice!"

More later.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

There is a God

Okay.

There is a God: Big Ben is okay.

"TOLD YOU."

I'm crazy busy today, so please take the time to read Greg Palast's interview with Buzzflash:
We are literally in there right now to make sure that Iraq remains good members of OPEC.

They were afraid that Saddam was going renegade, and he could not be trusted to play ball with OPEC, which is basically an illegal cartel controlled by Saudi Arabia and big oil.

That was the winning plan for the oil. In other words, if you wonder why your cousin is shivering under a tank in Fallujah, it is to enhance Iraq’s relationship with OPEC.
More later...

Monday, June 12, 2006

It's Official: There is No God

It's Official: There is no God.

"WHAT?"

Roethlisberger injured in accident

Aaaggghhh!!!
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is undergoing surgery at Mercy Hospital after being involved in an accident earlier today near the Armstrong Tunnels while on his motorcycle.

A doctor at Mercy said the injuries included missing teeth, broken facial bones and head lacerations.
Big Ben was NOT wearing a helmet.

More at ESPN.com.

Damn, damn, damn.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Pure Hate

The AP just listed a bunch of Man Coulter's greatest misses:
"Even if corners were cut, (Iran-Contra) was a brilliant scheme. There is no possibility that anyone in any Democratic administration would have gone to such lengths to fund anti-communist forces. When Democrats scheme from the White House, it's to cover up the president's affair with an intern. When Republicans scheme, it's to support embattled anti-communist freedom fighters sold out by the Democrats," she wrote in 2003's "Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism."

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building," The New York Observer quoted her as saying on Aug. 20, 2002. She clarified those remarks with RightWingNews.com: "Of course I regret it. I should have added, 'after everyone had left the building except the editors and reporters.'"

"After all other suitable office space in Manhattan had dried up — and also after spending the weekend golfing at an all-white club in Florida — Clinton announced he would take an office in Harlem. ... As one of my friends remarked, that should be nice: Having escaped a mugging on the way to work, Clinton's female employees will then have to face an accused rapist in the office," Coulter wrote on Feb. 19, 2001.

"(Liberals) are always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. ... Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment," Coulter said during an Oct. 21, 2005, speech at the University of Florida.

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war," Coulter wrote in a column published by the National Review Online on Sept. 13, 2001.

"Mostly the Witches of East Brunswick wanted George Bush to apologize for not being
Bill Clinton," she wrote in "Godless." She was referring to the New Jersey town where two of the Sept. 11 widows live.

"We need somebody to put rat poison in Justice Stevens' creme brulee," Coulter said in a Jan. 27 appearance at Philander Smith College in Little Rock, Ark., regarding Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens. She later explained she was joking about the justice, whose votes have upheld Roe v. Wade, the landmark decision legalizing abortion.
Enough.

The Devil wears a black cocktail dress.

More later...

Are the Evildoers on MySpace?

People...

The Pentagon wants to monitor MySpace.

Pentagon sets its sights on social networking websites


Looking for cheap dates, my friends?
"I AM continually shocked and appalled at the details people voluntarily post online about themselves." So says Jon Callas, chief security officer at PGP, a Silicon Valley-based maker of encryption software. He is far from alone in noticing that fast-growing social networking websites such as MySpace and Friendster are a snoop's dream.

New Scientist has discovered that Pentagon's National Security Agency, which specialises in eavesdropping and code-breaking, is funding research into the mass harvesting of the information that people post about themselves on social networks.
Are you guys looking for evildoers...or 15 year old girls?
You should always assume anything you write online is stapled to your resumé. People don't realise you get Googled just to get a job interview these days," says Callas.
Well, I'm fucked.

Guess I'm stuck in LaLa land.

Go Dodgers.

More in a bit...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

She Likes Turtles

Yo.

The NY Times has a quick little piece on Katherine Harris' sinking ship:
"She has absolutely no chance of winning," said former Representative Joe Scarborough, a Pensacola Republican who was courted strongly by the National Republican Senatorial Committee to oppose Ms. Harris but declined.

Mr. Scarborough, the host of "Scarborough Country" on MSNBC, said Ms. Harris "seems to be detached from reality these days."
The straight dope from Scarborough country!
In interviews, Ms. Harris projects a somewhat frenetic personality, speaking in rapid-fire cadences, fussing incessantly with her hair and barraging aides with questions and road directions ("We have a detour to Starbucks on the way -- Quickest way to Venice is down Fruitville").

Sometimes she will burst forth midsentence upon noticing something out the window ("Hey, there's one of my bumper stickers!").
C'mon: She's just narrating her own life.

"New Oldsmobiles are in early this year."

(A no-prize if you can match that quote with its movie.)
When a supporter in a Venice veterans hall said he once witnessed Ms. Harris leave her vehicle to escort a turtle across a highway, she became gravely serious.

"All of my life I have stopped for turtles," she said firmly, even defensively, as if someone had challenged her commitment to turtle safety.
Please, Katherine, make that your top priority: Stop the slaughter.

The road to victory is lined with tiny little turtle fences.
As Ms. Harris hugged and hand-shaked her way toward the hall exit, the song "Y.M.C.A." came on. The mostly empty dance floor filled with aging veterans and their wives, one of whom spotted Ms. Harris and summoned her.

She obliged. And then commenced another unforgettable moment, Katherine Harris, arms over her head, dancing to "Y.M.C.A."
Frightening.

Bet she does a mean "Macarena."

More later...

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Continuing Adventures of the Dumb and the Mean!

People...

Time for another installment of "The Continuing Adventures of the Dumb and the Mean" via ThinkProgress:
Jonathan Hoenig, a guest on Fox News’ Your World with Neil Cavuto: “[F]rankly, if you want to see the Dow go up, let’s get the bombers in the air and neutralize this Iranian threat.
You can't make that stuff up.

Then, this:
As you see here, and I think this is maybe the most important prop we’ll have during the entire debate, my wife and I have been married 47 years.

We have 20 kids and grandkids.

I’m really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we’ve never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship.
Rrriiiggghhhttt.

That's Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Crazyland.

More in a bit...

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Flouridated water?


MUFFLEY: But, how is it possible for this thing to be triggered automatically, and at the same time impossible to untrigger?

STRANGELOVE: Mr. President, it is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know.

Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack.

And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision making process which rules out human meddling, the doomsday machine is terrifying. It's simple to understand. And completely credible, and convincing.

TURGIDSON: Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines, Stainsy.

Where Was the Flying Spaghetti Monster?!


People...

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

Lord?

"HOLD ON."
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
Where were you?

"LOOK. I GAVE THE GUY A THING CALLED A 'BRAIN.' I WAS HOPING HE'D USE IT."

Right.

"PLUS, I THINK IT'S FAIRLY WELL ESTABLISHED THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA GET MAULED IF YOU JUMP INTO A FREAKING LIONS' DEN. 'CEPT FOR THAT ONE EPISODE OF EMERGENCY."
The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction.

Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
"THICK CONCRETE BLOCKS = STAY THE FREAK OUT."

Agreed.

"AND...WHERE WAS THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER? HUH? WHY AREN'T PEOPLE ASKING THAT QUESTION?!"

Dunno.

*

Hey, if you're in the mood to throw up this morning? Check out Man Coulter's appearance on the Today show.

Hopefully, this will end her sad career.

More later...

Monday, June 05, 2006

I am your King!

ARTHUR: I am your king!

WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.

WOMAN: Well, how did you become King, then?

ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.

That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen.

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

ARTHUR: Shut up, will you? Shut up!

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!

Walk Across the Street to Pat's


People...

Here's the latest word from Geno's


AS in Geno's steaks...South Phila, Pa.
The customer is always right? Not at Geno's Steaks in South Philadelphia.

Belly up to its counter and order a cheesesteak in a language other than English, and you'll walk away hungry.

Fromage-avec? Fugheddaboudit.

It seems that Joseph Vento, Geno's owner, feels strongly that everyone in this country ought to speak English - even if they're tourists from faraway climes looking for that fabled Philly cheesesteak fix.

Vento insists his customers order in English. No pointing at the menu items. Speak English, a sign at Vento's popular, curbside counter reads.

This comes from a man whose Italian-born grandparents spoke limited English. Talk about irony thicker than Cheez Whiz.
I have an idea, 'specially for those of you who "can't speak English."

Walk across the street...and give your business to Pat's.


(It's a better cheesesteak, IMHO.)

More later...

Sunday, June 04, 2006

What Year is This?

People...

What year is this?
Ray Larsen, imperial wizard of the National Knights of the Ku Klux Klan from South Bend, Ind., told the crowd on a megaphone that illegal immigrants are in America to take all the jobs and they want everyone out of America. "And I'm talking about blacks and whites," Larsen said.

"They want you out of here because they want this as their land."
What year is this?
"Here in Idaho, we couldn't understand how people could sit around on the kerbs waiting for the federal government to come and do something. We had a dam break in 1976, but we didn't whine about it. We got out our backhoes and we rebuilt the roads and replanted the fields and got on with our lives. That's the culture here. Not waiting for the federal government to bring you drinking water.

In Idaho there would have been entrepreneurs selling the drinking water."
Here's an easy one:
If you think about it, Janet, from everything from Brokeback Mountain to, you know, all the TV shows that you see promoting and affirming alternative lifestyles -- I guess to put it nicely -- you would think that the culture would eventually just move in the other direction. But I think these kind of debates are the chance for a public discourse to counter what Hollywood is purveying to our young people. Not just what Hollywood is purveying to young people, to all people.

And it's an opportunity for us to get beyond, you know, 'We should treat everybody nicely.'

I'm for treating everybody nicely, but that doesn't mean that we need to change the law to recognize a form of marriage that is harmful to our country.
Senator Sanitorium, as Tony called 'im.

More later...

Friday, June 02, 2006

The War on Terror Funds, Part II

People...

The War on Terror Funds continues.

D.C. at Low Risk Of Attack, Says Federal Agency


From the WaPo: Not "The Onion."
The Department of Homeland Security has ranked the District in a low-risk category of terrorist attack or catastrophe, putting it in the bottom 25 percent of U.S. states and territories, as part of a decision that will cost the city millions in anti-terror funds, according to city and federal officials.

The news came as irate officials from New York and Washington demanded explanations for why the department slashed funds in a separate urban anti-terrorism program by 40 percent for the metropolitan areas hit hardest by the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

"It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out these are two cities still at risk," said D.C. Police Chief Charles H. Ramsey.
In the words of the immortal Bugs Bunny, "Ain't it the trute!"

(Having said that...we could use a few brian surgeons in the exec branch, couldn't we?)
"Are you going to tell me Rhode Island should get more money than the District of Columbia?" the chief sputtered in an interview on Washington Post Radio.
Yes.

Everybody knows that the evildoers hate that Friendly's in Pawtucket.
Although the District is home to the White House, the Capitol, FBI headquarters and many national monuments, it received a smaller state grant than Montana, Hawaii and Utah.

Each of them received $4.5 million, as did Rhode Island.
Good. I happen to know that the evildoers hate the entire town of Cedar City, Utah.

And its Shakespeare Festival.

Other evildoer targets - bigger targets than the ones in NY and D.C:

1. The Blake's Lotaburger on Menaul (near Pennsylvania) in Albuquerque.

2. The Wisconsin Dells (the evildoers want the duck boats).

3. "Java the Hut" in Driggs, ID.

4. Wall Drug.

5. The World's Tallest Thermometer in Baker, CA (the current temp is 94F).

Congratulations to all the individuals & companies who do business with Homeland Security!

And remember, citizens: You can never be...too secure!

More later...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The War on Terror Funds

Can't believe it, but I'm gonna use the NY Post (a very nice fish wrap) for this post.

Terror? What Terror?

Quick info:
June 1, 2006 -- WASHINGTON - Less than five years after the murder of 2,749 people in the Twin Towers on 9/11, the feds yesterday shockingly slashed anti-terror funds needed to protect New York City against future attacks.

The Homeland Security Department announced it was hacking funds distributed to the city by 40 percent compared with last year, while pouring hundreds of millions into unlikely terror targets like Kentucky and Wyoming.
Wyoming = Cheneyland.

Now...

I happen to know...that loads of evildoers around the world...would love to blow up Bubba's BBQ in Jackson. (Bubba's has a fantastic pulled pork sandwich, BTW.)

That's why they're getting $.

Plus, they want to destroy our freedoms and our moose.

More info:
Jacksonville, Fla. 2005 funds: $6.8 million.

2006 funds: $9.2 million.

Increase: 26%. Major landmark: Alltel Stadium, home of Jacksonville Jaguars.
C'mon now.

We all know that Al-Qaeda hates the Jags: More than Steeler fans.

I mean...right now...there are probably a bunch of dudes in a cave somewhere...with plans to destroy Alltel.

Right?

Can I get some of that Homeland Security cash? I'm pretty sure that the "terra-ists" would love to blow up the Silverlake reservoir.

More later...