BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Where Was the Flying Spaghetti Monster?!


People...

Lioness in zoo kills man who invoked God

Lord?

"HOLD ON."
KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
Where were you?

"LOOK. I GAVE THE GUY A THING CALLED A 'BRAIN.' I WAS HOPING HE'D USE IT."

Right.

"PLUS, I THINK IT'S FAIRLY WELL ESTABLISHED THAT, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA GET MAULED IF YOU JUMP INTO A FREAKING LIONS' DEN. 'CEPT FOR THAT ONE EPISODE OF EMERGENCY."
The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction.

Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
"THICK CONCRETE BLOCKS = STAY THE FREAK OUT."

Agreed.

"AND...WHERE WAS THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER? HUH? WHY AREN'T PEOPLE ASKING THAT QUESTION?!"

Dunno.

*

Hey, if you're in the mood to throw up this morning? Check out Man Coulter's appearance on the Today show.

Hopefully, this will end her sad career.

More later...

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