BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Con Rock

Yo.

I'm having a hard time sloggin' through the National Review's "Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs" list. It still feels like an Onion piece.

A few examples:
40. “Wake Up Little Susie,” by The Everly Brothers.

A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

34. “Godzilla,” by Blue öyster Cult.

A 1977 classic about a big green monster — and more: “History shows again and again / How nature points up the folly of men.”

32. “Keep Your Hands to Yourself,” by The Georgia Satellites.

An outstanding vocal performance, with lyrics that affirm old-time sexual mores: “She said no huggy, no kissy until I get a wedding vow.
Um, I think it's a song about a guy who wants to bang said woman.
29. “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” by Iron Maiden.

A heavy-metal classic inspired by a literary classic. How many other rock songs quote directly from Samuel Taylor Coleridge?
Stay away from Maiden, bro.
20. “Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash.
Wait. Hold. I didn't want to add snarky comments to this post, but...The Clash?!

Do you see how frustrating this is?!
18. “Cult of Personality,” by Living Colour.

A hard-rocking critique of state power, whacking Mussolini, Stalin, and even JFK: “I exploit you, still you love me / I tell you one and one makes three / I’m the cult of personality.”
Um, yeah.

I have a headache.

More later...

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