BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Them Jesus Lizards Ain't That Old

People,

Gallup: More Than Half of Americans Reject Evolution, Back Bible


Which means....they believe that the Jesus Lizards on the right here are about, oh, 6,000 years old.

"I'M GETTING TIRED OF THIS."

Me, too, Lord.

March on:
NEW YORK A Gallup report released today reveals that more than half of all Americans, rejecting evolution theory and scientific evidence, agree with the statement, "God created man exactly how Bible describes it."
"FAR MORE COMPLEX THAN THAT. TRUST ME."
Another 31% says that man did evolve, but "God guided."

Only 12% back evolution and say "God had no part."
"WHA' 'CHU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS?!"

Whoa, take 'er easy, Lord:
Gallup summarized it this way: "Surveys repeatedly show that a substantial portion of Americans do not believe that the theory of evolution best explains where life came from."

"They are "not so quick to agree with the preponderance of scientific evidence."
Um...
Breaking down the numbers, Gallup finds that Republican backing for what it calls "God created human beings in present form" stands at 57% with Democrats at 44%.
"UH, OH."

I know where this is going:
Support for this Bible view rises steadily with age: from 43% for those 18 to 29, to 59% for those 65 and older. It declines steadily with education, dropping from 58% for those with high school degrees to a still-substantial 25% with postgraduate degrees.

Newport wraps it up: "Several characteristics correlate with belief in the biblical explanation for the origin of humans. Those with lower levels of education, those who attend church regularly, those who are 65 and older, and those who identify with the Republican Party are more likely to believe that God created humans 'as is,' than are those who do not share these characteristics."
I did not write that last sentence.

"BREAK IT DOWN FOR THE KIDDOS."

Yes, Lord.

The folks who believe that God created the world in "seven days" are a) less educated, b) church-going, c) old and d) Republican.

"YOU DID NOT USE THE WORD 'DUMB.'"

Less educated.

"IGNORANT."

Less educated.

"I'M COOL WITH THAT."

Once again, I'll remind you faithful Brandoland readers of the bits the nuns told us...back in the day:
US: Sister, did God really make the world in seven days?

SISTER MARY WHOEVER: Not seven of our days, you nitwits! Seven of HIS days!

US: How long is that?!

SISTER MARY WHOEVER: A really, really, really, really long time!

US: But, Sister, the Bible says that --

(Thwack)

US: Ow!

SISTER MARY WHOEVER: Moving on...to Noah. If you watched "In Search Of" last night, you might remember that --
"NOAH'S ARK IS PARKED SOMEWHERE ON MT. EVEREST?"

According to Leonard Nimoy.

"YOU KNOW SOMETHING? MY DAYS ARE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LONG."

I bet.

"THESE PEOPLE MAKE 'EM LONGER."

Agreed.

Onward Christian soldiers.

Absolute must read: Lewis Lapham's "The Case for Impeachment" - in the latest Harper's.

More later...

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