BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I'm moving to Florida

People,

I'm moving to Florida.

Pizza Magnate Seeks Catholic-Governed Town

The Domino's guy wants to start a Catholic "Celebration."

I'm in!
NAPLES, Fla. - If Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan has his way, a new town being built in Florida will be governed according to strict Roman Catholic principles, with no place to get an abortion, pornography or birth control.

The pizza magnate is bankrolling the project with at least $250 million and calls it "God's will."
"HA! I'VE ALREADY GOT A CATHOLIC TOWN. IT'S CALLED 'CORK.'"

There you are, Lord. Long time...no hear from!

"BEEN BUSY. AMERICAN IDOL, YOU KNOW."

Right.
The town of Ave Maria is being constructed around Ave Maria University, the first Catholic university to be built in the United States in about 40 years. Both are set to open next year about 25 miles east of Naples in southwestern Florida.

The town and the university, developed in partnership with the Barron Collier Co., an agricultural and real estate business, will be set on 5,000 acres with a European-inspired town center, a massive church and what planners call the largest crucifix in the nation, at nearly 65 feet tall.
"MY PARENTS WENT TO SEE THE WORLD'S LARGEST CRUCIFIX AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT."

When I was a kid, I used to pray that Jesus would come alive and jump off the cross. Start singing the Doobie Bros.

"DURING THE 11:00 MASS AT ST. BERNARD'S. I REMEMBER"

That would've been cool.
Monaghan envisions 11,000 homes and 20,000 residents.
Good luck!
During a speech last year at a Catholic men's gathering in Boston, Monaghan said that in his community, stores will not sell pornographic magazines, pharmacies will not carry condoms or birth control pills, and cable television will have no X-rated channels.
"LET'S BE HONEST: THAT'S BAD BUSINESS."

Can you smuggle in stuff from the outside world?

And will Ave Maria have alternative pizza choices?

Like Pizza Hut or Papa John's?
Homebuyers in Ave Maria will own their property outright. But Monaghan and Barron Collier will control all commercial real estate in the town, meaning they could insert provisions in leases to restrict the sale of certain items.

"I believe all of history is just one big battle between good and evil. I don't want to be on the sidelines," Monaghan, who sold Domino's Pizza in 1998 to devote himself to doing good works, said in a recent Newsweek interview.
I, too, believe that all of history is just one big battle between good and evil.

For that very reason, I will never eat another piece of Domino's pizza.

"NOT EVEN THE BACON CHEESEBUGER FEAST PIZZA?"

Nope.

"YOUR LOSS, BRO-HAM."
Gov. Jeb Bush, at the site's groundbreaking earlier this month, lauded the development as a new kind of town where faith and freedom will merge to create a community of like-minded citizens. Bush, a convert to Catholicism, did not speak specifically to the proposed restrictions.
If you've ever driven through Disney's Celebration (near the Magic Kingdom), you know that this homogenous town-thing is a really creepy idea.

And I'm Irish Catholic.

BTW, the following message was just posted on the Yahoo Message Board (attached to this story):
"I AM FORMING A JEDI COMMUNITY NEXT DOOR - It will contain 30,000 Jedi."
Now we're talking!

"WHO'D WIN THAT FIGHT? CATHOLICS OR JEDI?"

You tell me.

(Pause)

"I WOULD NOT BET AGAINST MASTER YODA."

More later...

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