BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Lady Di, Mick, Keith, and Troy Polamalu.

(Oooh! Some civil disobedience at the Gonzales hearing. Cool.)

Good morning.

Thank you, Lord.

"YOU'RE WELCOME."

Steelers 21, 'Hawks 10.

Wahoo!!!

Who cares about the poor officiating?! The endless assault of Bud/Bud Light commercials?! The awkward Stevie Wonder medley featuring a bunch of modern, American Idol-type pop stars I've never heard of?!

"NOT ME."

Not me!

The Steelers are world champs once again, and nuns all over Western P.A. are letting their students wear black and gold to school.

"THEY BETTER."

Before I jump back into the halftime show...IT'S TIN-FOIL HAT TIME.

DIANA CRASH 'CAUSED BY LASER BEAM'

Hey now!
The crash that killed DIANA, PRINCESS OF WALES and her lover DODI FAYED was caused by a laser beam being flashed into the eyes of their driver, it has been claimed.

New witnesses have told British detectives, leading a fresh enquiry into the fatal August 1997 accident, they saw a motorcyclist point a laser into the eyes of chauffeur HENRI PAUL, causing the Mercedes to crash inside the Pont De L'Alma tunnel in Paris, France.

One witness said he saw "an enormous radar-like flash of light", reports UK newspaper the Daily Express.
The Daily Express seems to be a Sun-like paper.

Tabloidish.
The new evidence supports theories Diana, Al Fayed and Paul were assassinated by the British Secret Service on behalf of the UK's royal family.

The laser plot came to light as French medics from the hospital where the princess died claim she was pregnant at the time of the crash.

Conspiracy theorists insist Diana and her lover were killed to avoid the royal family's embarrassment at her having a child by a Muslim.
No snarky comments - just a love of bad b-movies - and the vivid memory of a GIANT Lady Di/Dodi F photo on a wall in Herrod's.

Back to the Stones.

Again, Chuck Klosterman ("Sex, Drugs & Co-Co Puffs") called his shot re: The Stones' halftime set.
In the reality in which we currently inhabit, these songs will probably be "Start Me Up," "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," and the second single off a 2005 album that nobody bought.
100% correct.

"Rough Justice" was that third, halftime-set song. I think "Streets of Love" was the first single from the "2005 album (A Bigger Bang) that nobody bought."

And speaking of the set...

NFL Edits Out Explicit Stones Lyrics

The Victorian times we live in:
Two sexually explicit lyrics were excised from the rock legends' performance Sunday. The only song to avoid the editor was "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," a 41-year-old song about sexual frustration.

In "Start Me Up," the show's editors silenced one word, a reference to a woman's sexual sway over a dead man.
"You make a dead man come."
The lyrics for "Rough Justice" included a synonym for rooster that the network also deemed worth cutting out.
"Once upon a time I was your little rooster/ But am I just one of your cocks?"

"SNORE."

Agreed.

Come on, people. EVERYONE knows the damn lyrics to "Start Me Up."

"Happy Birthday," "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," "Start Me Up." KnowwhatImsaying?

Back to Klosterman.

Check out his full blog for more great takes on the Superbowl.

Like this one:
In downtown Detroit this weekend, there were many, many parties.

There was the Maxim party, there was the Playboy party, there was the Penthouse party, there was the Jenna Jameson "clothing-optional" party, there was the Kit Kat party, there was the Linda Lavin party, there was the Western Horseman party, there was the Stolen Transmissions party, there was the Chips Ahoy party, there was the Oui magazine "foxy-dead girl" party, there was the George Plimpton Memorial Intellivision party, there was the Kid Rock Performs Bob Seger System party, there was the World B. Free Appreciation party, there was the Sinclair Oil/Komodo Dragon party, and there was the Hamas victory party.

And I went to exactly zero of these affairs, because I do not like parties.

Instead, I went to a bar in Grosse Point with a bunch of employees from The Detroit Free Press, where I drank martinis filled with gummi bears while discussing how I spent Friday night at a bowling alley called The Majestic (which is the same place where Jack White punched out the singer from the Von Bondies).
Brilliant.

(Chuck also hoped that the Stones would cancel and "be replaced by Black Sabbath." I would've been down with that plan at one point, but after seeing Oz limp around the stage at last years' Ozzfest? Not so much.)

Final note for you Steeler fans...

Klosterman posted a great little story about some lady-friends who dined next to a long-haired man in a Pittsburgh restaurant:
Eventually, Ellen introduced herself. "I have no idea who you are," she said, "but your wife has amazing shoes."

This statement made the long-haired man very happy.

He introduced himself: He said his name was Troy Polamalu.

For the next hour, these four people made casual conversation, never discussing sports or celebrity. Ellen found him to be amazingly friendly and relentlessly humble.

Eventually, the long-haired man (and his wife) exited the restaurant. Ellen and her friend chatted about how affable the pair had been, and how cool it was that Mr. Polamalu had seem so legitimately interested in their own boring lives.

Ellen and her friend signaled the waiter for the check, curious about how much money they owed. But when the waiter came over to their table, he told them everything was taken care of: The long-haired stranger had quietly paid the totality of their bill.
That's why I love the Steelers.

A classy organization...filled with classy people.

"You, you...you make a dead man come!"

More later...

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