BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Friday, January 06, 2006

More Fun With

Well, we all had fun with yesterday, and his comments re: Ariel Sharon:
"He was dividing God's land, and I would say, 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the [European Union], the United Nations or the United States of America.'"

"God says, 'This land belongs to me, and you'd better leave it alone.'"
So, this got me thinking: It's PERFECT TIME to revisit some of Pat's finer moments.

"I'M DOWN."

Thank you, Lord.

First up, "Bring me the head of !"

From the August 22 broadcast of "The 700 Club":
ROBERTSON: There was a popular coup that overthrew him [Chavez]. And what did the United States State Department do about it? Virtually nothing. And as a result, within about 48 hours that coup was broken; Chavez was back in power, but we had a chance to move in. He has destroyed the Venezuelan economy, and he's going to make that a launching pad for communist infiltration and Muslim extremism all over the continent.

You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it.

It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war.

And I don't think any oil shipments will stop. But this man is a terrific danger and the United ... This is in our sphere of influence, so we can't let this happen.

We have the Monroe Doctrine, we have other doctrines that we have announced. And without question, this is a dangerous enemy to our south, controlling a huge pool of oil, that could hurt us very badly.

We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.

We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator.

It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.
Good times.

Better times? The first few days after 9/11, and this classic bit...with help from Jerry Falwell.
JERRY FALWELL: The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, yes.

JERRY FALWELL: And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way - all of them who have tried to secularize America - I point the finger in their face and say "you helped this happen."

PAT ROBERTSON: Well, I totally concur, and the problem is we have adopted that agenda at the highest levels of our government. And so we're responsible as a free society for what the top people do.

And, the top people, of course, is the court system.
"JESUS! ENOUGH WITH THE COURT SCHTICK! I MEAN, LET IT GO!"

Yeah.

More wisdom on 9/11.
"We have a court that has essentially stuck its finger in God's eye and said we're going to legislate you out of the schools. We're going to take your commandments from off the courthouse steps in various states. We're not going to let little children read the commandments of God. We're not going to let the Bible be read, no prayer in our schools. We have insulted God at the highest levels of our government. And then we say, 'Why does this happen?'

Well, why it's happening is that God Almighty is lifting his protection from us."
"I DID NOT!"

He said you did.

"WHAT A DICK! GIVE 'EM THE REST OF THE QUOTES."

Yes, sir.
GOVERNMENT - "Individual Christians are the only ones really -- and Jewish people, those who trust God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob -- are the only ones that are qualified to have the reign, because hopefully, they will be governed by God and submit to Him."

BEING NICE - "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing.

Nonsense.

I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist. I can love the people who hold false opinions but I don't have to be nice to them." -- The 700 Club, January 14, 1991

WOMEN - "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." -- Fundraising letter, 1992

"N.O.W. is saying that in order to be a woman, you've got to be a lesbian." -- The 700 Club, December 3, 1997

"I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period." -- The 700 Club, January 8, 1992

HALLOWEEN - "I think we ought to close Halloween down. Do you want your children to dress up as witches? The Druids used to dress up like this when they were doing human sacrifice... [Your children] are acting out Satanic rituals and participating in it, and don't even realize it." -- The 700 Club, October 29, 1982
"I HAVE A HEADACHE."

Sorry, Lord.

"NO WORRIES. I'LL DEAL. GO STEELERS."

Go Steelers.

More later...

2 Comments:

  • mssrs. Robertson & Falwell Hhave some serious Mental & Spiritual Tortion going on. I don't recall "Thou shalt smite thine enemies with impunity if the have petroleum" in my Bible. (I'll check again later just to be sure.) Also, the Supreme Court is just doing what our founding fathers intended.

    "The United States of America is not in any way founded on the Christian religion." Article 11 Treaty of Tripoli

    That folks is the law of the land. Approved unanimously by the Senate and Signed into law by the second President of the United States, John Adams.

    Just Sayin
    Rev. Carlton Noles

    By Blogger Carlton Noles, at 12:04 PM  

  • Blasphemer!!! next you'll be reading from the Jefferson Bible and telling us he wasn't a good Christian man!

    Oh, wait...

    By Blogger Sumisu, at 2:33 PM  

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