BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Land of Enchantment

Praise Jesus, Black Sabbath has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

"Let me see your f*cking hands!"
NEW YORK - Black Sabbath, Miles Davis and the Sex Pistols are among five musical legends to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation will hold its induction ceremony March 13 at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in Manhattan, the organization announced Monday.

Also to be inducted into the class of 2006: 1980s New Wave band Blondie and Southern rockers Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Solid class.

Van Halen and Rush next year?

The Hall rules, BTW: A great place to visit.

"God bless you all!"

Now...a story near and dear to my heart, because it involves two of my favorite subjects; L. Ron and New Mexico.

From the Washington Post --

A Place in the Desert for New Mexico's Most Exclusive Circles

Our dear friends in the big blue building on Sunset are up to something in the Land of Enchantment:
From the state that gave us Roswell, the epicenter of UFO lore since 1947, comes a report from an Albuquerque TV station about its discovery of strange landscape markings in the remote desert. They're etched in New Mexico's barren northern reaches, resemble crop circles and are recognizable only from a high altitude.

Also, they are directly connected to the Church of Scientology.

(Cue theremin music.)

The church tried to persuade station KRQE not to air its report last week about the aerial signposts marking a Scientology compound that includes a huge vault "built into a mountainside," the station said on its Web site. The tunnel was constructed to protect the works of L. Ron Hubbard, the late science-fiction writer who founded the church in the 1950s.
You need a mountain vault to protect "Battleship Earth?!"

What's wrong with the "Author Services" building on Hollywood?
The archiving project, which the church has acknowledged, includes engraving Hubbard's writings on stainless steel tablets and encasing them in titanium capsules.
It is overseen by a Scientology corporation called the Church of Spiritual Technology.

Based in Los Angeles --
Of course --
...the corporation dispatched an official named Jane McNairn and an attorney to visit the TV station in an effort to squelch the story, KRQE news director Michelle Donaldson said.

The church offered a tour of the underground facility if KRQE would kill the piece, the station said in its newscast.

Scientology also called KRQE's owner, Emmis Communications, and "sought the help of a powerful New Mexican lawmaker" to lobby against airing the piece, the station reported on its Web site.

McNairn did not respond to messages requesting comment; an employee said that McNairn was traveling last week, and that no one else from the church would be able to comment.

What do the markings mean?

For starters, the interlocking circles and diamonds match the logo of the Church of Spiritual Technology, which had the vault constructed in a mesa in the late 1980s. The $2.5 million construction job was done by Denman and Associates of Santa Fe, but company Vice President Sally Butler said of the circles, "If there is anything like that out there, it had nothing to do with us."

Perhaps the signs are just a proud expression of the Scientology brand. But there are other, more intriguing theories.

Former Scientologists familiar with Hubbard's teachings on reincarnation say the symbol marks a "return point" so loyal staff members know where they can find the founder's works when they travel here in the future from other places in the universe.
They'd better be careful.

Remember: Last week, a former Canadian Defense Minister claimed that the Bushies were building a moon laser to blast the aliens.

(See Friday's Brandoland for more on that particular story.)
"As a lifetime staff member, you sign a billion-year contract. It's not just symbolic," said Bruce Hines of Denver, who spent 30 years in Scientology but is now critical of it. "You know you are coming back and you will defend the movement no matter what. . . . The fact that they would etch this into the desert to be seen from space, it fits into the whole ideology."


The church maintains two other vaults in California to preserve Hubbard's materials and words, according to Hines and another longtime staff member who also quit a couple of years ago, Chuck Beatty of Pittsburgh.
Bet there's a vault in the basement of the "Life Exhibition" building near Ivar.
"The whole purpose of putting these teachings in the underground vaults was expressly so that in the event that everything gets wiped out somehow, someone would be willing to locate them and they would still be there," said Beatty, who spent 28 years in Scientology.

Some loyalists are tasked specifically with the "super-duper confidential" job of coming back to Earth in the far-off future, he added.
I'm going to assume that "super-duper confidential" is one of their terms.

They do get lazy with some of their words and phrases - from time to time.

On that note, the Psychiatry Kills Museum (on Sunset) has been re-named.

It's now called...the Psychiatry and Industry of Death Museum.

No joke.

The Cat & the Fiddle is still the Cat & the Fiddle.

More later.

"Now fairies wear boots and you gotta beleive now! I saw 'em, I saw 'em with my own two eyes! All right now!!!"


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