BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

You Know the Scene

You know the scene:

Jeb Bush's son arrested for public intoxication, resisting arrest

You know how it went down:
John Ellis Bush, the youngest son of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, was arrested early Friday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest, law enforcement officials in Texas said.

The 21-year-old nephew of President Bush was arrested by the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission at 2:30 a.m. Friday on a corner of Austin's Sixth Street bar district, said spokesman Roger Wade.


Patrons are pouring out of the popular clubs along Austin's 6th Street Bar District. Most of the young men and women are UT students, affluent and white.

One young man, JOHN, stumbles out of the Blind Pig Pub: He is obvioulsy hammered. Annhiliated.

A HOT YOUNG BLONDE hangs on John's arm. John grabs the hot blonde and pulls her close.

JOHN - Gimmee a kissss.

HOT BLONDE (protesting) - Waaggghhh.

JOHN - I said gimmee --

John tries to kiss the hot young blonde...but falls onto the sidewalk instead. Then...

JOHN - Fug! Bitch. Wha'appened?

HOT BLONDE - You went boom boom! Ha!

At that moment, OFFICER PHIL ASEBEDO arrives on the scene.

OFFICER - Closing time, kids. Gotta clear the area.

JOHN - Fug 'ew, copper. This's m' town. You kin fug off.

OFFICER - Excuse me?

JOHN - Said, "Sug my cock!"

OFFICER - Alright, let's see some I.D., son.

JOHN - Yeah. Tha' how you wanna be? Wanna see some D?

John pulls his pants down and "moons" the officer. Officer Phil pulls out a pair of plastic handcuffs.

OFFICER (indicating handcuffs) - One more chance, son. Let's see some I.D.

JOHN - Fug you, Serpico. Don' you know who I yam?! 'M th' preznit's neph-ooo. Aaaggghhh!

John tries to push Officer Phil...but falls over once again.

OFFICER - That's it.

Officer Phil grabs the young man and attempts to "cuff him."

JOHN - L'me go, you fugging asssssshole. 'M a fugging Bush!

HOT BLONDE - He's a fucking Bush, you asshole. You're a dead man!

JOHN - My grandpa's gonna have you killed. 'N no one will ebber know!

OFFICER - That's a good one. Haven't heard that before.

JOHN - 'S true! He's gonna use mind control on your fambly!

Officer Phil gets one handcuff on the young man.

HOT BLONDE - You're a dead man!

OFFICER - Miss, can it or you're next.

HOT BLONDE - You wish, you fucking pervert!

JOHN - L'me go!

John tries to kick Officer Phil just as two other COPS arrive on the scene. Then...

OFFICER - This one says he's a 'Bush.' Doesn't look like any Bush I've ever scene.

COP #1 - Yeah. Them other two is long gone.

COP #2 - Thank God.

Officer Phil opens the squad car and begins to put the young man in the back seat.

JOHN - You're all gonna die! All 'f you fugging assssshooollleesss!!!

OFFICER - C'mon, buddy. Let's find out who you really are.



Officer Phil stands next to the Sgt.'s desk: He looks like he's just seen a ghost.

OFFICER - Wwwhhhaaattt?!



Officer Phil sits next to his locker. He is holding his police report...and CRYING.



More later...


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