BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Friday

Through all the chaos and confusion in this post-Katrina -- I mean...this post 9/11 world -- "Our Kid" found some time for comedy:

'Has the place blown up?'

Huh?
UNITED NATIONS (Reuters) - John Bolton's reputation as a difficult diplomat gave his boss, U.S. President GEORGE W. BUSH, an opportunity to tease the new American ambassador to the United Nations.

"How's he doing? HAS THE PLACE BLOWN UP?" Bush asked U.N. Secretary-General KOFI ANNAN as the president and Bolton arrived at U.N. headquarters on Tuesday for a world summit.
Outstanding schtick.

HAS THE PLACE BLOWN UP?

Plays on many levels; John Bolton's reputation for, uh, being mean to people...and 9/11.

You know, when terrorists BLEW UP the Twin Towers.

Outstanding.

More comedy from the Bush Administration. This time, it's Condi's turn.

She was a guest on Bill O'Reilly's show.
O’Reilly: The truth of the matter is our correspondents at Fox News can’t go out for a cup of coffee in Baghdad.

Rice: Bill, that’s tough. It’s tough. But what — would they have wanted to have gone out for a cup of coffee when Saddam Hussein was in power?
Wink wink, nudge nudge, eh eh eh?

"No they wouldn't! Ha! He would've thrown them in a 'rape room!' Ha! 'Yeah, I'd like an Ultimate Mocha with no whipped cream, please.' ' Are you an American pig-dog?' 'What? Hey, let go of me! I'm a reporter!' 'You are under arrest, in the name of Saddam!' Ha ha! Good point, Condi!"

Man.

How about some more comedy from Bill O'Reilly?
Now, what's the real story? The real story is this: Ten percent of Americans, and 10 percent of any society, simply are so chaotic for whatever reason that they're never, ever going to be able to fend for themselves and make a living.

They are either substance abusers, they're mentally ill, they're screwed up emotionally beyond -- they can't carry on a conversation, they're catatonic, schizophrenic, whatever it may be.

No matter how much money you pour in, they're always going to be in that condition. It's not massive neglect, it's not; it's human nature.

Now, our government has a duty to provide a safety net so these people aren't living under bridges.

But some of them are anyway, because all the entitlement money they get they spend on heroin or crack or alcohol.

So they can't pay their rent because the money that they're given they spend on drugs and alcohol.

So what do you do? Give them more money?

They're not going to pay their rent, they're going to spend it on drugs and alcohol. And therefore, they're going to be out on the street with their hand out.

Many, many, many of the poor in New Orleans are in that condition. They weren't going to leave no matter what you did. They were drug-addicted. They weren't going to get turned off from their source. They were thugs, whatever.

Now the tragedy is that a lot of times these people have children, and society has to take care of their children. Now, to me, I'm much more punitive than -- I would take the children away from these people. If you tested positive for heroin or crack, I'd take your child away, out of the house. All right, I'd rather have the kid in the system than under your control. It's a tough call, but that's what I would do.
Ha!

Great monologue!

Kinison-esque!

"So what do you do? Give them more money? Oh, ooohhh!"

"They're not going to pay their rent, they're going to spend it on drugs and alcohol. Oh, ooohhh!"

"Now the tragedy is that a lot of times these people have children. Oh, ooohhh!"

Ha.

(Pause.)

Hey, waitaminute.

HE WAS BEING SERIOUS.

So was Jeb's son:

Jeb Bush's son arrested for public intoxication, resisting arrest

Alcoholism is a family disease
John Ellis Bush, the youngest son of Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, was arrested early Friday and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest, law enforcement officials in Texas said.

The 21-year-old nephew of President Bush was arrested by the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission at 2:30 a.m. Friday on a corner of Austin's Sixth Street bar district, said spokesman Roger Wade.
"Let's see some ID, son."

"Fug you. Don' you know who I yam?! 'M th' preznit's neph-ooo. Aaaggghhh!"
It's not the first time Florida's first family has experienced legal problems with one of their children.

Noelle Bush, the governor's daughter, was arrested in January 2002 and was accused of trying to pass a fraudulent prescription at a Tallahassee pharmacy to obtain the anti-anxiety drug Xanax. She completed a drug rehabilitation program in August 2003 and a judge dismissed the drug charges against her.
Hey now.

More later...

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