BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

As I DeLay Dying

By now, you've heard the news re: Hot Tub Tom.

What you haven't heard...is the true, behind-the-scenes freak-out.

Blunt picked to replace DeLay as US House leader

Fine. They replaced one RWNJ with another RWNJ:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives on Wednesday unanimously elected Roy Blunt of Missouri as their majority leader, replacing Tom DeLay, who was forced to step down after being indicted by a Texas grand jury, lawmakers said.

After a closed-door meeting of House Republicans, lawmakers said Blunt's position was an interim arrangement for the rest of the year and that he would share some leadership responsibilities with Rep. David Dreier of California. Blunt had been the third-ranking Republican member of the House with the title of majority whip.
And now...the key freak-out moment:
But Republicans praised DeLay, WHO RECEIVED AN OVATION AT THE PARTY MEETING, and many predicted he would be exonerated from what they described as a politically motivated prosecution.

"We all believe that he (DeLay) will return once this indictment is out of the way, and be the leader again," Blunt said.
I'm back, Roy. Now gimme back my seat!"

"No!"

(Punch.)

"Ow!"
DeLay said his legal problems will not derail the Republican agenda.

"If the Democrats think we're going to go crawl in a hole and not accomplish our agenda, I wish they could have been a fly on the wall and seen these members come together for a bold and aggressive agenda," he said.

"What I told the members basically was, we all know what this is -- a political witch hunt," he said.
No.

What Tom "told the members basically was" --

"AAAAGGGGHHHH! RRRAAAGGGHHH! MOTHERFUCKERS! WAR! BLOOD! KILL! KILL THE DIRTY LIBTARDS! AAAGGGHHH! FUCKING BASTARD MOTHERFUCKERS! RRRAAAGGGHHH!!!"

KnowwhatImsaying?

*

GUARANTEED: They'll go after a top Dem.

Who's it gonna be?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

*

Moving on...

THREE new-old claims from the White House.

First?

"There will be an upsurge in violence in Iraq (fill in the blank)."

Guesses?

1. When we transfer power to the interim government.

2. As the Iraqi poeple work to build a new country.

3. When we arrest Saddam.

4. When we put Saddam on trial.

5. Because it's Thursday.

Today...the excuse is "vote in October on their 'new' constitution."
WASHINGTON (Sept. 28) - President Bush is sending the top U.S. commanders in Iraq to Capitol Hill to try to convince lawmakers -- and their skeptical constituents -- that the United States is making progress in the war.

*

"WE'RE ON THE OFFENSE," Bush said Wednesday. "We have a plan to win." Still, he warned of an upsurge in violence before Iraqis vote Oct. 15 on a new constitution. He said insurgents ultimately will fail.
Okay. I was wrong.

FOUR new-old claims. Two in that last sentence.

"We're on the offense," and "the insurgents ultimately will fail."

The insurgents might fail...but they're showing no signs of slowing down.

Iraq's First Female Suicide Bomber Kills 6

BAGHDAD, Iraq - A woman disguised in a man's robes and headdress slipped into a line of army recruits Wednesday and detonated explosives strapped to her body, killing at least six recruits and wounding 35 — the first known suicide attack by a woman in Iraq's INSURGENCY.

*

The U.S. military announced Wednesday that two more American soldiers and an airman were killed in violence and a Marine was killed by a non-combat gunshot.
That means...4 AMERICAN MILITARY DUDES DIED on Wednesday.
The deaths brought to 1,929 the number of U.S. service members who have died since the Iraq war started in March 2003, according to an Associated Press count.
At least we're on the offense.

The 4th new-old claim?

"We killed the NUMBER 2 evil-doer in Iraq."

Yes, you've heard that claim before. So has Michael Isikoff and Mark Hosenball.
Sept. 28, 2005 - U.S. intelligence officials and counterterrorism analysts are questioning whether a slain terrorist—described by President Bush today as the “SECOND-MOST-WANTED AL QAEDA LEADER IN IRAQ”—was as significant a figure as the Bush administration is claiming.

*

“This guy was a brutal killer,” BUSH TOLD REPORTERS in remarks that were also carried live on cable TV. “He was one of [Abu Mussab al-]Zarqawi’s top lieutenants. He was reported to be the top operational commander of Al Qaeda in Baghdad.”

Bush’s comments came one day after Gen. Richard Myers, the outgoing chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters at the Pentagon that the U.S. military considered Abu Azzam the “No. 2 Al Qaeda operative in Iraq, next to Zarqawi.”

But veteran counterterrorism analyst Evan Kohlmann said today there are ample reasons to question whether Abu Azzam was really the No. 2 figure in the Iraqi insurgency.

He noted that U.S. officials have made similar claims about a string of purportedly high-ranking terrorist operatives who had been captured or killed in the past, even though these alleged successes made no discernible dent in the intensity of the insurgency.

“If I had a nickel for every No. 2 and No. 3 they’ve arrested or killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, I’d be a millionaire,” says Kohlmann, a New York-based analyst who tracks the Iraq insurgency and who first expressed skepticism about the Azzam claims in a posting on The Counterterrorism Blog (counterterror.typepad.com).

While agreeing that Azzam—also known as Abdullah Najim Abdullah Mohamed al-Jawari—may have been an important figure, “this guy was not the deputy commander of Al Qaeda,” says Kohlmann.

Three U.S. counterterrorism officials, who asked not to be identified because of the sensitivity of the subject, also told NEWSWEEK today that U.S. agencies did not really consider Abu Azzam to be Zarqawi’s “deputy” even if he did play a relatively high-ranking role in the insurgency.

The characterization of Abu Azzam as No. 2 to Zarqawi is “not quite accurate,” said one of the officials. According to this official, it would be more correct to describe Abu Azzam as a “top lieutenant” to Zarqawi who was involved in “running” terrorist operations in Baghdad—not all of Iraq.

Other top lieutenants operate in other parts of the country, the official indicated.
Which means that Iraq is filled with a ton of 2's and 3's!

A No-Prize for the Brandoland reader who can predict the next capture/killing of a NUMBER 2.

Can be a calendar date...or a "date" around an important event.

Like the day Karl Rove gets indicted for his role in Plame-gate.

Finally...

Katrina was God's wrath on sinful area says Alabama senator

That's what I've been saying.
A STATE SENATOR IN ALABAMA says Hurricane Katrina was God's punishment on a sinful part of America.

State Sen. HANK ERWIN, R-Montevallo, wrote in a weekly column for news outlets: "New Orleans and the Mississippi Gulf Coast have always been known for gambling, sin and wickedness. It is the kind of behavior that ultimately brings the judgment of God."
"WHAT DID HE SAY?"

He said that, you know, gambling, sin and wickedness ultimately brings your judgement.

"WHAT?! IT'S HURRICANE SEASON."

I know, but he wants to --

"WHAT?"

Make the point that, you know, people who don't live like he does will, you know, suffer.

"OH. HE'S ONE OF 'THOSE PEOPLE.' RIGHT. GOT IT.
"Warnings year after year by godly EVANGELISTS and preachers went unheeded. So why were we surprised when finally the hand of judgment fell?" Erwin wrote. "Sadly, innocents suffered along with the guilty. Sin always brings suffering to good people as well as the bad."
"WHAT ABOUT WARNINGS, YEAR AFTER YEAR, FROM THE ARMY CORP OF ENGINEERS?! HUH?!"

He doesn't care about that.

"I ENJOY A GOOD GAME OF '21,' YOU KNOW."
He said he didn't think the hard-hit residents of the low-income lower 9th Ward in New Orleans were singled out for especially harsh punishment but were merely in the way, as were the shrimpers in Bayou La Batre.
"THAT'S A LIE. I TOTALLY WENT AFTER THE SHRIMPERS IN BAYOU LA BATRE. I HATE THOSE DUDES. THEY LISTEN TO COUNTRY MUSIC AND THEY SMELL FUNNY."

(Pause.)

"OKAY. THAT'S A BAD JOKE."

Don't worry about it.

More later...

1 Comments:

  • Well Senator Hank, I live in Punta Gorda,Fl , a conservative stronghold. Why did God send Charley here? We've been good. Well, except for me, I'm a progressive liberal. So maybe God sent Charley just for me. On the other hand maybe the F***ing Four (Charley, Frances, Jeane and Ivan) last year were God's way of punishing Jeb for W's sins.

    By Blogger Carlton Noles, at 1:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home