BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Crazy SUNDAY Junk: Bad B-Movie Stuff and that Crazy Elite Iraqi Commando Force With Ties to Al-Qaeda

Quickly, and old story with new bits of specifics:

For sale: a nation's treasures

* Iraqi officials fear that looters (AND WEALTHY BLACK MARKET BUYERS) are funding the rebels *

What bad B-movie is that from?
THE battered box labelled “Rothmans Cigarettes” stands in a Jordanian customs warehouse surrounded by tonnes of contraband tobacco.

The mundane exterior hides extraordinary contents — 346 Mesopotamian clay stamps thought to date from Iraq’s Sumerian civilisation, which lasted from about 4000BC to 2340BC.
Obviously...frauds.

EVERYONE knows the world is 6,000 years old. Not 6,005. Unless the reporter is suggesting that the "stamps" were created during the week when HE made the Earth.
They were seized on April 9, two years after the fall of Baghdad led to the chaos that allowed Iraq’s cultural heritage to be plundered and sold to Western collectors.

The scale of the pillaging has prompted the World Monuments Fund to put Iraq on its 2006 list of 100 most-endangered sites, the first time that it has listed an entire country. The fund said: “Widespread looting, military occupation, artillery fire, vandalism, and other acts of violence are devastating Iraq, long considered the cradle of human civilisation.

“Today, such famous sites as the Assyrian capital of Nineveh, the ziggurat at Ur, the temple precinct at Babylon, and a 9th-century spiral minaret at Samarra have been scarred by violence, while equally important ancient sites, particularly in the southern provinces, are being ravaged by looters who work day and night to fuel an international art market hungry for antiquities.”

*

Some Iraqi officials believe that cash from stolen artefacts is being used to fund insurgent groups. Donny George, director of the Baghdad Museum, said: “Rich people are buying stolen material. Money is going to Iraq, and they’re buying weapons and ammunition.
Hmm.

CUT TO:

INT. ELEGANT BALLROOM, CRAZY ESTATE OUTSIDE VIENNA - NIGHT

At the center of this ginormous ballroom, packed with RICH DUDES, MILITARY TYPES and HIGH END CALL GIRLS, is a giant statue of...blah blah blah.

BRUCE WILLIS is lurking in the bushes outside the estate. He lights a cigarette...and sneaks a peek through the window. Inside, he spots HANS GRUBER, the bad guy from Die Hard I. Gruber is holding an ancient Sumerian "stamp" and talking with the Iraqi Interior MINISTER. Willis takes a long drag from his American Sprit.

WILLIS - Yippe cay-yay, motherfucker.

Willis straps on his AK-47 and we...yada yada yada. Blam blam blam.

*

I'm gonna re-attach Saturday's piece - because I haven't seen anything else about the following story on the web. Check it out - if you haven't already.

*

Sometimes ya gotta swim past the headline - to the bottom of the article - to find the REAL story.

This was Friday's headline - from the LA Times:

"Kidnappers in Iraq Kill Egyptian Envoy"

* Ihab Sherif is the highest-ranking hostage slain since the war began. The Al Qaeda wing in the country claims responsibility *

The info:
BAGHDAD — Al Qaeda's Iraq wing said Thursday that it had carried out "the verdict of God" and executed Egypt's top envoy to Baghdad, who was kidnapped from a street in the capital five days earlier.

The Egyptian government confirmed the death of the diplomat, Ihab Sherif, saying he had "lost his life at the hands of terrorism which trades in Islam."

*

An Iraqi official who asked not to be identified told the Los Angeles Times earlier that Sherif may have been lured to the scene of his abduction with the promise of meeting with representatives of Iraqi insurgents.

Before word of the execution became public, Interior Minister BAYAN JABR expressed dismay that some diplomats had attempted to negotiate with armed opposition groups privately, but he did not name the Egyptian.

"Some of them go to places on their own in order to meet some insurgents," the minister said. "We warned about doing such things before, as the results could be very serious."
So that's the story right?

Nope.

Buried within this piece? More bad B-Movie stuff:
JABR announced that within the last 10 days, Iraqi authorities had rolled up a SECRET CELL OF TURNCOAT OFFICERS WITH TIES to Zarqawi's AL-QAEDA branch WITHIN the upper echelons of an ELITE COMMANDO FORCE.
One more time:
Jabr announced that within the last 10 days, Iraqi authorities had rolled up a secret cell of turncoat officers with ties to Zarqawi's Al Qaeda branch within the upper echelons of an elite commando force.
"Hello? McFly? Hello, McFly?! McFly!"
"The intent of this group was to conduct assassinations inside the brigade and an operation to totally blow up the Ministry of Interior headquarters," he said.
"Wha'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?!"
Eight suspected officers, including three with the rank of BRIGADIER GENERAL, were among ex-Iraqi army officers recruited last year from Baghdad and northern Babil province, an area called the "triangle of death" because it is a hotbed of the Sunni Arab-led INSURGENCY.
"Look, I've got certain information, certain things have come to light, and uh, has it ever occurred to you, man, that given the nature of all this new shit, that, uh, instead of running around blaming me, that this whole thing might just be, not, you know, not just such a simple, but uh--you know?"
Jabr also announced the arrest of a suspect allegedly in possession of a computer hard drive containing names, addresses and other personal details of 7,000 public officials ranking as high as Prime Minister Ibrahim Jafari, underscoring the extent of infiltration by insurgents within the fledgling government.
"Well, okay, you're not privy to all the new shit, so uh, you know, but that's what you pay me for. Speaking of which, would it be possible for me to get my twenty grand in cash?"
The man arrested came under police suspicion after he checked into a Baghdad hotel and began spending "ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF CASH," Jabr said.
I mean - where do we - I - you know - come on - are you kid - this is - what the - what the - WHAT THE F*CK?!

WHY IS THIS STUFF NOT ON THE FRONT PAGE?!

HUH?!

AL-QAEDA INFILTRATES HIGH LEVELS OF IRAQI COMMANDO FORCE?!

IRAQI BRIGADIER GENERALS HAVE TIES TO AL-QAEDA?!

AGENT SMITH DEFEATS NEO; ARCHITECT LEVELS ZION?!

DIOS MIO, MAN; JESUS QUINTANA BACK IN TOURNAMENT?!

AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Man.

Where have I heard or seen this move before? Infiltrating the other side - to blow it up?

The Mexican Mafia sending guys to prison to take over the California Correctional system? Ex-Bloods and Crips joining the LAPD to control the drug trade in SoCal?

*

Sounds like the Iraqis are ready to defend themselves.

*

Final question: Will we ever find out if an American Soldier has been gunned down by this type of insurgent? By an insurgent that he trained and/or worked with?

We betta.

More later...

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