BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Tin Foil Hat Stuff

The following bit comes from the Washington Times, so, you know, it might as well come from The Onion.

"(UPI) -- Insider notes from United Press International for June 8"
UPI Hears...

A former Bush team member during his first administration is now voicing serious doubts about the collapse of the World Trade Center on 9-11.

Former CHIEF ECONOMIST for the Department of Labor during President George W. Bush's first term MORGAN REYNOLDS comments that the official story about the collapse of the WTC is "BOGUS" and that it is more likely that a CONTROLLED DEMOLITION destroyed the TWIN TOWERS and adjacent Building No. 7.
"Morgan said what?"

"He said that the official story is bogus, sir -- "

"He said WHAT?!"
Reynolds, who also served as director of the Criminal Justice Center at the National Center for Policy Analysis in Dallas and is now professor emeritus at Texas A&M University said, "If demolition destroyed three steel skyscrapers at the World Trade Center on 9/11, then the case for an 'inside job' and a government attack on America would be compelling."
"You're fucking kidding me?!"

"No, sir."
Reynolds commented from his Texas A&M office, "It is hard to exaggerate the importance of a scientific debate over the cause of the collapse of the twin towers and building 7. If the official wisdom on the collapses is wrong, AS I BELIEVE IT IS, then policy based on such erroneous engineering analysis is not likely to be correct either."
"What the fuck does he mean by THAT?!"

"I think he's saying that...if the hijackers didn't bring the towers down...then...the War on Terror is wrong."

"Goddammit. (Then) Send a 'car' for Mr. Reynolds."

"Right away, sir."
The government's collapse theory is highly vulnerable on its own terms. Only PROFESSIONAL DEMOLITION appears to account for the full range of facts associated with the collapse of the three buildings."
"Christ....who is...who is, uh...picking him up?"

"We've sent the right people, sir."

"Good. (Pause) Jesus."

"Your wife is on the phone, sir."

"I'll call her back."

"Yes, Mr. Cheney."

*

On a lighter note, OUR KID made a tour stop at Penn State yesterday...talkin' to the Future Farmers of America 'bout Social Security reform.

My favorite moment:
MR. PRESIDENT: Guess what happened. There was a pretty famous person at the airport today. (Laughter.) And so I said, why don't you ride over to the college campus with me here, the university campus -- I need a briefing on what's going on. And Joe Paterno kindly agreed to travel with me. (Applause.) I said, let's talk football. He said, why don't you tell me what's going on in Washington? (Laughter.)
Bush had the chance to tell "Joe Pa" to retire (a move Joe should've made five years ago) but did not.
I tell you one thing about Joe Paterno; there's no more decent fellow on the face of the Earth. What a man who sets -- a man who sets high standards, he loves his family, he loves this university, he loves his country, and my mother and dad love him. Coach, thanks for coming. Proud you're here. (Applause)
Babs loves Joe Pa? Love it.

He does raise a lot 'o cash for the Repubs.

One more great moment:
MR. PRESIDENT: I've got a good man as the Secretary of Agriculture in Mike Johanns. He actually grew up on a farm. Some of you will be pleased to hear he grew up on a dairy farm.
How cute. He actually grew up on a farm.

Johanns left that farm, went to law school and ultimately became the Governor of Nebraska.

"So...he's not a total hayseed?"

"No, sir. Mike is, uh, an educated man."

"Good. Hey, increase the tension on the Lifecycle, would ya?"

More later...

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