BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

More B-Movie Stuff

MR. HAND - Yes?

SPICOLI -Yeah. I'm registered for this class.

MR. HAND - What class?

SPICOLI - This is U.S. HISTORY, right? I saw the globe in the window.


Today's lesson:

"Looted Art Said Used to Fund Terrorists"

SPICOLI - Sorry I'm late. This new schedule is totally confusing.
PARIS - Wealthy art patrons are buying stolen artifacts from Iraq and inadvertently funding terrorist activity, the director of Iraq's national Museum said Thursday. Some of the objects are entering the U.S., he said.

Iraqi museums were pillaged of treasures dating back 5,000 years during looting that occurred amid the chaos of the 2003 U.S.-led invasion that toppled Saddam Hussein.
MR. HAND - Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

SPICOLI - Learning about Cuba. Having some food.
"RICH PEOPLE are buying stolen material," museum director Donny George told reporters.
(RICH PEOPLE meaning - not Dr. Henderschott - the guy who owns your apartment building - but REAL rich people, wink-wink, nudge-nudge.)
"Money is going to Iraq and they (terror groups) are buying weapons and ammunition to use against Iraqi police and American forces," he said.

"A lot of these objects are actually going to the United States."
Wait, what movie is this from?! Art smugglin' - arms dealin' - crazy international money - tuxedos - high-end call girls - explosions?

True Lies?

Die Another Day?

Charlie's Angels II?
Of the 15,000 objects stolen from the national museum, almost 4,000 have been returned to the country and more than 4,000 others are in neighboring countries for safekeeping, George said.

Speakin' of the insurgency:

Iraq could face insurgents for 12 years, Rumsfeld says

SPICOLI - So, like, what Jefferson was saying was 'Hey, we left this place England because it was bogus, and if we don't come up with some cool rules ourself, we'll be bogus, too!' Right?

Washington — U.S. Defence Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Sunday it may take as long as 12 years to defeat Iraqi insurgents and that Iraqi security forces will finish the job because U.S. and foreign troops will have left the country.

Mr. Rumsfeld, addressing a question about whether U.S. troops levels are adequate to vanquish the increasingly violent resistance, said, “We're not going to win against the insurgency. The Iraqi people are going to win against the insurgency. That insurgency could go on for any number of years."

"Insurgencies tend to go on five, six, eight, 10, 12 years."
MR. HAND - Very close, Jeff.
“Coalition forces, foreign forces are not going to repress that insurgency,” the Pentagon chief told Fox News Sunday”

“We're going to create an environment that the Iraqi people and the Iraqi security forces can win against that insurgency,” he said.

Mr. Rumsfeld, in interviews on the Sunday news shows, warned that the insurgency could GROW through the year as Iraqi leaders develop a constitution for a democratic government.

At the same time, Mr. RUMSFELD DEFENDED Vice President Dick CHENEY'S DESCRIPTION of the INSURGENCY as being in its “LAST THROES.” Mr. Rumsfeld said the U.S. commander in the Middle East did not contradict Cheney when he told the Senate last week that the insurgency was as strong as it was six months ago.

“If you look up 'last throes,' it can mean a violent last throe,” Mr. Rumsfeld said on ABC's This Week.
MR. HAND - Very close, Jeff.
The insurgency led by Jordanian Abu Musab al-Zarqawi “may very well continue to or get more violent because they have so much to lose between now and December,” he said.


Mr. Rumsfeld said Iraqi security forces have gained respect among the Iraqi people. He suggested that the ability of insurgents to kill in large numbers does not mean public support is diminishing or that political, economic and security progress has been lacking.

“It doesn't take a genius to go blow up a restaurant or attack a police station, a suicide bomber. You can kill — a kid with a suicide vest can kill a lot of people,” the secretary said.
MR. HAND - Very close, Jeff.


SPICOLI - Hey, Mr. Hand, can I ask you a question?

MR. HAND - What's that?

SPICOLI - Do you have a guy like me every year? A guy to... I don't know, make a show of. Teach other kids
lessons and stuff?

MR. HAND - Well, you'll find out next year.

SPICOLI (smiling) - No way, mon. When I graduate U.S. history I ain't even coming over to your side of the building.

MR. HAND - If you graduate.

SPICOLI (panicked) - You're gonna flunk me?

Mr. Hand pauses a moment, then breaks into the nearest approximation of a grin we have seen all year. It isn't much, but it's noticeable. His lips crinkle at the ends.

MR. HAND - Don't worry, Spicoli. You'll probably squeak by.

SPICOLI - All right!


Quick follow up to yesterday's post re: Iran, the price of oil, and the tendency for history to, uh, repeat itself:

Iran Will Pursue Nuclear Program, New President Says

Imagine that.

PLEASE READ yesterday's post if ya haven't already.


SPICOLI - Aloha, Mr. Hand!

MR. HAND - Aloha, Spicoli.


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