BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Bits from the Week

Yo.

Happy Saturday.

MORPHEUS: Do you want to know what IT is? The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

NEO: What truth?

MORPHEUS: That you are a slave, Neo.

*

BEEP

SGT. KELT: "Hey Chris, this is Sgt. Kelt with the Army man. I think we got disconnected. Okay, I know you were on your cell probably and just had a bad connection or something like that. I know you didn't hang up on me. Anyway, BY FEDERAL LAW you got an appointment with me at 2 o'clock this afternoon at Greenspoint Mall, okay? That's the Greenspoint Mall Army Recruiting Station at 2 o'clock. YOU FAIL TO APPEAR AND WE'LL HAVE A WARRANT. Okay? So give me a call back."

Beep.

*

TOM RIDGE on the White House and Orange Alerts: "Sometimes we disagreed with the intelligence assessment. Sometimes we thought even if the intelligence was good, you don't necessarily put the country on (alert). ... There were times when some people (IN THE WHITE HOUSE) were really aggressive about raising it, and we said, 'For that?' "

*

DWIGHT EISENHOWER: "Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny SPLINTER GROUP, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are [a] few other TEXAS OIL MILLIONAIRES, and an occasional politician or BUSINESS MAN from other areas. Their number is negligible and THEY ARE STUPID."

*

MR. LEBOWSKI: Sure! Fuck it! That's your answer! Tattoo it on your forehead! Your answer to everything! Your "revolution" is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! My advice is, do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose-- do you hear me, Lebowski? THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS --

SLAM.

*

JEB BUSH to GA Republicans at their convention last week:"There is such a thing as right and wrong. Republicans cannot continue to win unless we talk with compassion and passion about ABSOLUTE TRUTH."

*

Elwood: Where is Matt 'Guitar' Murphy?

Tom: He opened a soul food restaurant with his old lady on Maxwell Street, and he took Blue Lou with him.

Willie: You'll never get Matt and Mr Fabulous outta them high paying gigs.

Jake: Oh yeah? Well me and the Lord? We got an understanding.

Elwood: We're on a mission from God.

*

TOM DELAY on today's "Democrat" party: "No ideas. No leadership. No agenda. And, just in the last week, we can now add to that list, NO CLASS."

*

WALTER - HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO

*

Big story funtime tomorrow!

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