BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Friday, April 22, 2005

Privatization

Alright, Repubs - just get the whole "privatization thing" over-with, will ya?

From the the Palm Beach Post:

Feds' weather information could go dark

Meaning...it ain't gonna be free no mo' if RICK SANTORUM has his way. Important excerpts:
Do you want a seven-day weather forecast for your ZIP code?

That information is available for free from the National Weather Service.

But under a bill pending in the U.S. Senate, it might all disappear.

The bill, introduced last week by Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., would PROHIBIT federal meteorologists from COMPETING WITH COMPANIES such as ACCUWEATHER and The Weather Channel, which offer their own forecasts through PAID SERVICES and free ad-supported Web sites.

A spokesman for Sen. Bill Nelson, D-Fla., said the bill threatens to push the weather service back to a "pre-Internet era" — a questionable move in light of the four hurricanes that struck the state last year. Nelson serves on the Senate Commerce Committee, which has been assigned to consider the bill

But Barry Myers, AccuWeather's executive vice president, said the bill would improve public safety by making the weather service devote its efforts to hurricanes, tsunamis and other dangers, rather than duplicating products already available from the PRIVATE SECTOR.

"The National Weather Service has not focused on what its core mission SHOULD BE, which is protecting other people's lives and property," said Myers, whose COMPANY IS BASED IN STATE COLLEGE, PA. Instead, he said, "It spends hundreds of millions of dollars a year, every day, producing forecasts of 'warm and sunny.'"
Awesome: A classic example of a BUSINESSMAN deciding what a government agency's mission SHOULD BE.
Santorum made similar arguments April 14 when introducing his bill. He also said expanded FEDERAL SERVICES THREATEN THE LIVELIHOODS OF PRIVATE WEATHER COMPANIES.
And that just can't be.

Santorum is from Pennsylvania, BTW.

What are the chances that dude has played golf with the dude from AccuWeather?

"None."

Glad we cleared that up.
"It is not an easy prospect for a business to attract advertisers, subscribers or investors when the government is providing similar products and services for free," Santorum said.
Please read that again.
"It is not an easy prospect for a business to attract advertisers, subscribers or investors when the government is providing similar products and services for free," Santorum said.
And that, my friends, is Republicanism 101.

So, let's turn our attention to another "free thing" - PBS.

PBS Scrutiny Raises Political Antennas

What's going on?
Liberal commentator Bill Moyers is out on PBS stations. Buster the animated rabbit is under a cloud of suspicion. And right-wing yakkers from the Wall Street Journal editorial page have been handed their own public-television chat show.

Some observers, including people inside the Public Broadcasting Service, see these recent developments as troubling. PBS, they say, is being forced to toe a more conservative line in its programming by the Republican-dominated agency that provides about $30 million in federal funds to the Alexandria-based service.
Repubs have been after PBS for YEARS, and have been threatening to cut funding since they regained control of the government purse. (Newt Gingrich wanted to get rid of PBS.) They hate PBS, because it generally provides programming, like "Now" and "Nova, that encourages people to think for themselves --

"No, no, no. PBS teaches our children to be gay. Bert and Ernie lived together for three --"

Shut up.
Officials at the AGENCY, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, say they are merely seeking to ensure BALANCE and FAIRNESS in the network's presentation of POLITICAL NEWS AND IDEAS.
Trumpet blast.

There it is, folks: PBS needs to be more FAIR and BALANCED.

I can now say, with all certainty, that the definition of that wonderful FOX SLOGAN is, "News and ideas that are conservative, and news and ideas that are never liberal."
Appointees of President Bush currently control the majority of seats on CPB's eight-member board. Each board member serves a six-year term.

PBS officials were unaware that the corporation intended to review its news and public affairs programs, such as "The NewsHour With Jim Lehrer" and "Frontline," until the appointments were publicly announced.

In negotiations with PBS earlier this year, the corporation also insisted, for the first time, on tying new funding to an agreement that would commit the network to strict "objectivity and BALANCE" in each of its programs -- an idea that PBS's general counsel described in an internal memo as amounting to "government encroachment on and supervision of program content, potentially in violation of the First Amendment."

A senior FCC official, who would not speak for attribution because he must rule on issues affecting public broadcasting, went further, saying CPB "is engaged in a systematic effort not just to sanitize the truth, but to impose a RIGHT-WING AGENDA on PBS. It's almost like a right-wing coup. It appears to be orchestrated."

In an interview yesterday, CPB board chairman Ken Tomlinson called such comments "paranoia," and said critics of CPB's initiatives should "grow up."
Tomlinson ran the "Voice of America" for Reagan, and is the former "editor-in-chief" of READER'S DIGEST.

You can expect nothing but CUTTING EDGE PROGRAMMING from this guy.
"We're only seeking BALANCE," said Tomlinson. "I am concerned about perceptions that not all parts of the political spectrum are reflected on public broadcasting. [But] there are no hidden agendas."

Asked for specific examples of slanted or unfair programming, Tomlinson declined to name any. "You've heard the same complaints of bias that I have in congressional hearings year after year," he said.
"Like Bert and Ernie."

Okay, okay, okay.

Two quick suggestions? Go back and use that fancy digital tecnology to remove the "colored people" from Sesame Street, and RE-DUB Mister Rogers. That will help to put "our children" on the right path. For example:

OLD PBS VERSION:

MISTER ROGERS - When I meet a new person, I like to shake their hand and say, "Hi, how are you?"

NEW PBS VERSION:

MISTER ROGERS - When I meet a new person, I like to shake their hand and say, "Have you accepted Christ as your personal Lord and Savior? You're going to Hell if you haven't."

Why stop there? It's time to RE-DUB "Nova."

OLD NOVA NARRATION: "The Earth is over 4.5 billion years old. This dramatic footage of an erupting volcano shows what the Earth may have looked like as it spent those first few billion years in formation."

NEW NOVA NARRATION - "The Earth is SIX THOUSAND YEARS old. This dramatic footage of an erupting volcano shows what the Earth may have looked during its first TWENTY-FOUR hours, right after God said, "Let there be Light."

Sounds good to me. Hopefully, we'll have to pay for it.

"We already do. Part of my Adelphia Premium Plus Package!"

More FAIR AND BALANCE later...

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