BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Friday, March 11, 2005

During the Michael Jackson trial...

"Senate Passes New Bankruptcy Legislation"

From the AP:
A bankruptcy overhaul bill the Senate passed by a 74-25 vote on Thursday would require people with incomes above a certain level to pay credit-card charges, medical bills and other obligations under a court-ordered bankruptcy plan.

Between 30,000 and 210,000 people - from 3.5 percent to 20 percent of those who dissolve their debts in bankruptcy each year - would be disqualified from doing so under the legislation, according to the American Bankruptcy Institute.
"Hallelujah. The bankruptcy abusers won't be able to abuse bankruptcy anymore."

What's your monthly statement look like?

"Uh..."
The legislation would set up an income-based test for measuring a debtor's ability to repay debts. It would require people in bankruptcy to pay for credit counseling and stiffen some legal requirements for debtors in the bankruptcy process.

Eighteen Democrats and the Senate's lone independent joined Republicans in approving the legislation. It goes to the House next month and then to President Bush who made it a priority after the GOP increased its majorities in the fall elections.

That would mark a second victory for Bush this year on PRO-BUSINESS legislation he had sought.
The AP's wording, not mine.
"I applaud the strong bipartisan vote in the Senate to curb abuses of the bankruptcy system," the president said in a statement. "Reforming the system with this commonsense approach, more Americans — especially lower-income Americans — will have greater access to credit."
Meaning - lower-income Americans will have greater access to ghetto Visa cards (Providian) with 30% APR rates and crazy monthly charges.

"At least those people will have credit cards."

Right.

The name of the bill?
The Bankruptcy Abuse Prevention and Consumer Protection Act of 2005
Which continues the proud Republican tradition of naming a bill THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what "it is."

Clear Skies, the American Jobs Creation Act, the Patriot Act, yada yada.

With that in mind, here's some suggestions for the 105th! Get to work, Senators.

Save Our Children Act - This bill finally protects American youngsters by making it illegal for minority children to even look at white, Christian children. Contains a provision that makes it legal to abuse children as long as they are non-white. Also, the bill protects pastors, priests and super-wealthy people from charges of abuse, no matter what, because there's just "no way" that our community leaders could ever do such a horrible thing.

The American Beaches of Freedom Act - Frees our beaches and coastal areas from wildlife, vegetaion and riff raff by opening up those areas to Mexican-style oil drilling (ie, rigs on the beach).

DeLay-Feeney-Ney Bill - Finally makes it legal for Republicans to be "compensated properly" for legislating. Outlaws democrats, liberals and independents. "This bill will finally rid Washington of lesbians, communists and union-types, and will send a message to corporate America that, 'If you want something passed, you'll have to pay for it directly.' Allows conservative politicians to work in the public AND private sector, at the same time."

The American Penal System Reform Bill - Finally makes it legal to "help" prisoners of color with old methods of reform (Chinese water torture, the rack, rape). Re-introduces the guillotine to Death Row.

Pro-Labor Miminum Wage Reform - The American work force gets a shot in the arm with this bill, which asks American workers to do their part by compensating American companies for the chance to work. Franchise Restaurant Technicians will only have to pay $2.50 an hour to perform their duties for our patriotic companies. Gives the American worker the opportunity to work and learn "on the job."

Protect Our American Families Act - Makes it safe and legal for corporate leaders and politicians to have "relationships outside their marriages," and protects those men from "divorce and alimony abuse" and the evils of "family law."

Freedom for Americans to Worship Act - This act gives American Evangelical Christians the opportunity to worship freely and without fear of persecution by outlawing all other forms of religion. Makes the Kaballah and the Landmark Forum illegal, too.

More later...

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