BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Good News, Citizens!

Good news, citizens!

"Carlyle doubles return to investors"

And there was much rejoicing.
The Carlyle Group returned $5.3 billion to investors last year, more than double the $2.1 billion it returned the previous year, according to a summary the firm released Monday, Feb. 14, of its investment activities for 2004.

"It was our best year ever," said William Conway Jr., the Washington-based private-equity group's co-founder and managing director.
Does their "best year ever" have anything to do with WAR?

"No."

Right. Of course not.
Carlyle is not alone. Over the past two years, as the stock market has recovered, (private equity) shops have been able to exit a backlog of investments.

But Carlyle's numbers were substantial. In 2004, it raised $7.8 billion and invested $2.7 billion. It said it made 107 investments and 71 exits.
Wahoo!

This is great. My $10,000,000 just got turned into $20,000,000.

Party! Havasu! Cabo! South Padre!

Chicks, drugs, cars...I'm going on a rampage!

Wait. I'm not a Carlyle investor.

"Who is?"
More than 600 investors from 55 countries entrust Carlyle with their capital and their reputations.
Oh. The big boys. Damn.

"Look, just stick to the two dollar tables. You'll be much happier."

Yeah.

I wonder if Poppy Bush will slap a new coat of paint on the place in Kennebunkport?

"He's got the cash to do it."

And how.

Hey, Gannon stuff is breaking in the New York Times, big time:

Frank Rich

Maureen Dowd

And a great piece from Sydney Blumenthal in today's Guradian.

More later...

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