BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Horribly Sad News

Horribly sad news this morning. Horribly, horribly sad news.


"Oh, god!"
"Say it ain't so!"

This information comes to us from of the web's leading sources for Wackoland news. Key excerpts from this article:
Kid Rock, the vulgar rock-rapper who initially had been lined up to headline the youth concert next week as part of the inauguration festivities for President Bush, will not be apppearing after all.

"He's not performing," a spokesman for the Presidential Inauguration Committee confirmed for WND.

Word that the rapper will not join JoJo and Hilary Duff as performers at the Jan. 18 concert, which will be hosted by Bush twins Barbara and Jenna, comes after WorldNetDaily and other outlets publicized the fact that the committee was planning to feature Kid Rock, which caused several pro-family organizations to ask their supporters to protest his appearance.
Please note the use of the term PRO-FAMILY.
As WorldNetDaily reported, the Detroit-based rapper, who dedicated his first album to songs about oral sex and who was voted the Sluttiest Male Celebrity at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards, has a history of vulgar lyrics.
Wow. Someone actually remembered the Sluttiest Male Celebrity Award. Amazing.
Kid Rock's first album, "Grit Sandwiches for Breakfast," fixates on oral sex, including one song, "Yo Da Lin In The Valley," that describes the lyricist's exploits with multiple women in detail. Another similar tune is "Wax the Booty."

Some of Kid Rock's songs include the F-word in their title, such as "F–- U Blind" and "F–- Off."

After reading some of Kid Rock's lyrics, Randy Thomasson, president of Campaign for Children and Families, was outraged the rapper would be a part of the president's festivities.

"I just read Kid Rock's sexually explicit lyrics and feel ashamed and dirty for even looking at his songs," he told WND.
What year is this?
"If this sex-crazed animal, whose favorite word is the F-word, is allowed to sing at Bush's inauguration this will send a clear message to pro-family Americans that the Republican Party has taken them for a ride and ditched them in the gutter."
Please note the use of the terms "sex-crazed animal" and PRO-FAMILY AMERICANS.
Besides Thomasson's group, other pro-family organizations, including Concerned Women for America and the American Family Association, decried the planned appearance of Kid Rock and asked supporters to express their outrage to the inauguration committee.
You gotta check out the American Family Association web-site ( Super good times. Really.

They definitely ain't down with the Kid.

And they definitely ain't down with YOU, you ANTI-FAMILY AMERICAN.

No word from the Bush Twins. Me hopes their protest went something like this:

"God fucking dammit!"
"You fucking promised us!"
"Honey, I -"
"He played for you in fucking New York, daddy!"
"Sweetie - "
"He's our fucking friend!"
"Angel -"
"Our party is gonna fucking suck!"
"No one gives a fuck about Hillary Duff!"
"And fucking...Jo-Jo!"
"He's the fucking Kid!"
"He...he...bothers some of my people, sweetheart."
"Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!"
"Here we fucking go again!"
"With your fucking people!"
"We are so fucking sick of your fucking people!"
"Tell them to go fuck themselves!"
"He's playing at this fucking party, daddy!"
"Whether you fucking like it or not!"

More later. Hopefully.


  • Quality stuff.

    Another series of questions, which may ultimately lead to the same theme, would examine why Kid Rock would associate with the Republican party to begin with. Specifically, why is a young man so libertine in general and so sex-focused and porn-friendly in particular tossing his lot in with the party which has built its modern position on strident declarations of the need for self-abnegating discipline and demonisation of sexuality?

    Sidebar - why is a guy into rap music from a working-poor suburb of Detroit allowing himself to be associated with, let alone shilling for, anti-union, pro-bigotry megapolluter Coors beer, anyway?

    Not that the Democrats are the natural party of perverts. But one building a fortune on free expression and sexual gratification might not want to support a party that has censorship and sexcrime as its defining virtues. Because it may be a threat to his livelihood.

    The answer may lie in the fact that for all its posturing, the Republican party poses absolutely no threat to Kid Rock's livelihood. The Kid may have noticed that the R's true agenda is to allow people like him to pile up as much money as they can while denying the entire concept of social responsibility. And that the anti-drug, anti-sex jerimiads they kick around are insincere smoke to bait the smoothbrained hicks and fools who can't stand their own urges and take thrills from being disciplined by bigger smarter men in suits. The Kid may even have sussed that what makes his lust for scotch and crotch mildly interesting is the Republican opprobium that makes him seem like a rebel.

    As he shills for anti-union, pro-bigotry megapolluter Coors beer.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:53 PM  

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