BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Episode II: The Attack of the Moderates

Happy Sunday.

Interesting rumblings from some Old School Republicans. Two headlines from this morning's papers; "Schwarzenegger suggests U.S. Republicans move leftward" & "(Christie) Whitman Warns Against Catering to Right."

Hmm.

An alarm just went of at the Heritage Foundation. Some complimentary membership cards have been revoked.

Let's start with the Terminiator. In an interview with Germany's Sueddeutsche Zeitung Daily, Schwarzenegger said...
"The Republican Party currently covers only the spectrum from the right wing to the middle, and the Democratic Party covers the spectrum from the left to the middle."
Actually, the Republican party currently covers the spectrum from full-blown-fucking lunatic to fucking lunatic, but I get what he's saying.
"I would like the Republican Party to cross this line, move a little further left and place more weight on the center," he was quoted as saying. "This would immediately give the party 5 percent more votes without it losing anything elsewhere."
Uh. No.

You guys set a place at the table for people who believe that the Grand Canyon is 6,000 years old. Trust me, they ain't sharing the turkey. You move half-an-inch toward the center and those people will throw a tantrum so bad...they'll stab you in the face with a fork.

On to Christie Whitman, the former Garden State governor and Bush's EPA chief. She's out there pushing her new book, entitled "It's My Party Too: The Battle for the Heart of the GOP and the Future of America."

"What's it called?"

"Uh, 'The Battle for the Heart of the GOP and the Future of America,' sir."

"Is she still on the dang Christmas card list?"

"Not anymore, sir."

"Good. Hand me them pretzels."

One of the big points in the book?
"Republican moderates must speak up or the party could move so far to the right that it will lose its influence and strength."
Memo to Ms. Whitman: too late!
"It is time for Republican moderates to assert forcefully and plainly that this is our party, too, that we not only have a place but a voice, and not just a voice but a vision that is true to the historic principles of our party and our nation, not one tied to an extremist agenda," she says.
"What'd she say?"

"She said the party is hers, too."

"Ha ha! Man, that is a good one!"

Don't think she'll be pushing the book on Fox News.

More later...

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