BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Uh...more on the...uh...evolution thing...and the idea that...uh...the Grand Canyon is about 6,000 years old.

According to an article in today's Editor & Publisher - an article you can find here -

"...large numbers of Americans remain wary of evolution and continue to see God's hand fully directing the origin of the species."

(Come again?)

"...large numbers of Americans remain wary of evolution and continue to see God's hand fully directing the origin of the species."

(Oh, no.)

"Public acceptance of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution is well below the 50% mark, a fact of considerable concern to many scientists," (AND ME) Frank Newport, editor-in-chief of The Gallup Poll, observed today. He noted that given three alternatives, only 35% say that evolution is well-supported by evidence. The same number say evolution is one of many theories and not well supported by evidence.

(INCLUDING THE "EVIDENCE" THEY SEE EVERY FUCKING DAY?!)

"Another 29% say they don't know enough about it to say."

(I don't know much about 'it,' either. But I've been to the buffet at The Vegas Rio. Trust me - we descended from the g'damn apes.)

"Almost half of Americans (45%) believe that human beings 'were created by God essentially as they are today (that is, without evolving) about 10,000 years ago,' acccording to Gallup's poll."

(We are so fucked.)

"(The) report, cited two possible reasons for these findings: Most Americans have not been regularly exposed to scientific study on these matters; or many Americans know about Darwin's theory, but feel it contradicts a literal interpretation of the Book of Genesis."

(Another possible reason for this "finding": most Americans are de-volving...and getting dumber by the fucking day.)

"Indeed, about a third of Americans are biblical literalists," he writes.

(The same "third" that put President Bunnypants back in the White House. Fucking great.)

You know what?

Thank god for the nuns at St. Bernard's. (Mt. Lebanon, PA.) Learned me the evolution thing good. Filled my tiny, Catholic brain with a few interesting thoughts re: evolution. Because we used to badger them about the evolution thing. We'd look at them and say, "Dude, seven days? That's impossible. What about the dinosuars? Cavemen and junk? That stuff is old, man. God could not have made the Earth in seven days."

Drove 'em nuts.

But I clearly remember St. Mary Mary screaming, "Well, it wasn't seven days, like our days, you creeps! One of those Biblical days could've been a billion of our days. Capice?"

Right..

Hey, Sister? How about them Steelers?

More on this tomorrow...

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