BRANDOLAND: Talking to God...For You!

Monday, April 12, 2004

Happy Monday.

This is absolutely my favorite story from the past few days…

From TheStreet.com (4/10/2004).

“Enron's Skilling Reportedly Hospitalized After Bar Episode”

(Hallelujah.)

Former Enron chief executive Jeff Skilling was hospitalized early Friday after police responded to calls saying he was harassing bar patrons on Manhattan's Upper East Side.

(Please say he was harassing the young debs and preps at Dorian’s. Please?)

A police source said callers claimed Skilling was pulling on their clothes and accusing them of being "FBI agents following me," according to the Associated Press.

(“You preddy, mizz FBI lady. Kizz me.”)

Skilling was found by police at 4 am EDT at the corner of Park Avenue and East 73rd Street and determined he might be an "emotionally disturbed person," a source told the AP. He wasn't charged and has since left New York Presbyterian Hospital.

(4 am. Awesome. Two things. One: why can’t the police just “determine” that Skilling was “totally hammered?” Two: Skilling was just a few blocks from one of my favorite NY bars, The Subway Bar, at 60th & Lexington. I’m just saying.)

Skilling was at two bars in Manhattan -- American Trash and Vudu Lounge -- where he allegedly was visibly drunk and acting erratically, the source told the AP. The New York Post reported that at about 3 a.m., he went to Lexington Bar & Books on 73rd Street where he lifted a woman's shirt.

(Classic drunk businessguy move.)

Skilling then left that bar and was taken into custody on Park Avenue where his wife, Rebecca Carter, who was on crutches, fell as she tried to catch up with him.

(I would pay TOP DOLLAR for that video. “Jeff. Jeff! Jeff, you fuggin’ asshole! Fuggin’ stop, n’ wait for me.” Trip. “Ugh! G’dammit. Ow. Ow. Jeff! Jeffffff!!)

Skilling is currently out on $5 million bail after being indicted for fraud and insider trading in the December 2001 collapse of Enron. Prosecutors have alleged he helped mastermind the illicit accounting schemes that helped put the energy-trading giant into bankruptcy, wiping out tens of thousands of investors and employees.

(Dewar’s on the rocks with a water back at the Vudu lounge? Fourteen dollars. Bail? Five million dollars. A presidential pardon? Priceless.)

The AP quoted a police source saying Skilling was intoxicated (no, really?) and uncooperative (c’mon, you’re kidding) when found on the street with his wife. He was taken to the hospital for observation.

(Meaning…he was taken to the hospital to dry out. Think the "Skill-man" is worried about going to prison?)

More later.



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